


Butterflies Suck (And So Do Crushes)

by humanedisaster



Series: MCU Hogwarts AU [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 10:29:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4561131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanedisaster/pseuds/humanedisaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce Banner was a hard person to track down, when he wanted to be, but Natasha is a Gryffindor for a reason, dammit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Butterflies Suck (And So Do Crushes)

**Author's Note:**

> Part of a larger universe I'm building, but have no ideas for, if you have a prompt, check out [this](http://mcuhogwartsau.tumblr.com/post/118088870703/welcome) and send me one [here](http://mcuhogwartsau.tumblr.com/ask).
> 
> Written for an anonymous prompter, who requested a sequel to [‘How To’s (And Other Things for Children)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4154463)

Bruce Banner was a hard person to track down, when he wanted to be.

Not that Natasha thought he was purposefully avoiding her, but she usually saw him pretty regularly. He was usually in the Dinning Hall with Tony, or the Potions lab with Betty, or the Library with any number of people. From what she understood, he didn’t really hang out in the Ravenclaw Common Room because it made him anxious.

Finally, Natasha resigned herself to asking Tony. Because she is an adult and can handle people she finds annoying. After all, Tony wasn’t all bad, he was just…a lot. A lot of facts, a lot of opinions, a lot of babble, a lot of _noise_.

After a quick glance to his usual spot at the Ravenclaw table, as close to the door as possible, she noticed him sitting with Pepper and Rhodes.

“Stark!” she called, crossing the width of the Hufflepuff table after a quick goodbye to Clint.

Tony picked up his head from where he had apparently been sleeping in his roast beef. He squinted at her then got a bizarrely terrified look on his face. “Listen, Nat. If this is about the hexed quill–”

Natasha glared at him. “We’ll be coming back to that, but no. I just – no, I need to know. What did you do to my quills?”

“Singular! Singular quill! And I just, you know, put a minor hex on it to test out the effects of anti-cheating spells. It–”

Natasha’s glare tightened. “Are you implying I cheat, Stark?”

His eyes widened and he shook his head. “No! God, no! But I know that there are people that cheat off of you, and I’m trying to figure out a hex to keep that from happening without–” Natasha could practically feel her eyes roll out of her head.

“Just ask next time, Stark. But anyway, no, I wanted to know if you’ve seen Bruce around?” She knew how to school her voice into nonchalance, necessity dictated that, but when she flicked her eyes to Pepper, she could see the intent in the other woman’s eyes. Natasha carefully didn’t react and turned back to Tony.

He was frowning and appeared to be thinking very hard. When he finally answered, he seemed to not want to. “He’s in the Room of Requirement. But he’s been in a…mood lately. He gets this way, feels poorly, you know? And between that and the whole…Betty hullabaloo, I wouldn’t bother him if I were you.”

“You think I bother people, Stark?” she asked with a simple raised brow.

He stuttered over himself before seeming to shake out of it. “I’ll have you know that I think you’re charming to be around, Natasha, but Bruce is…moody right now, not the best company. Just leave him be a couple days, okay? This happens a lot.”

Natasha frowned. While putting on her scariest faces around half awake Tony Stark was very amusing, his tone had been completely sincere.

“Fine. It was just a Potions question. I’ll ask Betty.”

And with a nod to Rhodes and Pepper, she turned on her heal and left the Dinning Hall.

-

Natasha didn’t actually get a chance to lay eyes on Bruce until a couple days later. His NEWT Level Potions class was just after hers, so she caught him as he was getting there.

“Hey, Big Man.” She let a small smile overcome her mouth when he blushed. He scratched the back of his head and moved over to where she was leaning against the wall, waiting for her class to clear out. “I’ve been looking for you for a couple days.”

He scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, Tony mentioned. Something about help with Potions?” The unspoken, _You’ve never had problems with Potions before_ , was unspoken, but weighted in his eyes.

“It’s the Draught of Peace. I can’t quite get it right.” She adjusted the strap on her bag, leaning forward into his space a bit.

Bruce nodded, “It is quite difficult to master. You need to follow the instructions exactly and if you get even one thing wrong you could, well…basically kill someone.”

She let out a huff of laughter, “Yeah, Professor Erskine mentioned that.”

“Well, of course I’ll help you out. Everyone knows Natasha Romanoff can’t ruin her perfect marks.” From anyone else, she may have taken that as derision, but Bruce was still blushing, with a timid smile on his face. “We could meet up after dinner? Practice it a few times?”

Natasha let her smile grow. “That sounds perfect. The Room of Requirement?”

Bruce seemed to flinch before nodding. His smile was gone. “Sounds great.”

-

The day passed a little faster than normal. She was with Bucky in Ancient Runes, but he seemed preoccupied by his own drama and then in Defense she was dodging pointed looks from Peggy, Angie, and Steve. She doesn’t know _how_ they knew anything, but she definitely knew it was Clint’s fault.

Once class was over, the three of them were fit to bursting, asking why she’d asked _Bruce_ and why _alone_ in the Room of Requirement and _why now, isn’t it too soon, you don’t want to be a rebound, Nat._

By the time she got to the Dinning Hall, she was ready to just get this whole thing over with.

Bruce seemed to be of a similar mind, because he was quickly and quietly forcing food into his mouth as he nodded and shook his head in turn to whatever Pepper, Tony, and Rhodes were asking him at the Ravenclaw table.

Natasha made quick work of her turkey dinner before going over to collect him.

“Ready to help me perfect this impossible potion?” she asked from behind him, just to watch him jump out of his skin. He grabbed his side, but also quickly grabbed his stuff and said his goodbyes to his table mates.

-

As much as Nat had wanted this to be over with on her way to dinner, once she was alone with Bruce, all of her anxiety went out the window.

“So you’re taking Muggle Studies, right?” Bruce asked on their walk.

Natasha nodded. “Before I became friends with Clint, I never would have thought of it, but to understand half of what he says I need to, you know?”

“I feel the same way with Tony. His mother may be a rich pure blood socialite, and Professor Stark may be a genius in the field of Alchemy, but he’s also a muggle born obsessed with motors and engineering. Tony’s all ‘electricity’ this and ‘motors’ that and constantly trying to make them work together with magic in a way that makes sense.”

Natasha had her own feelings about Tony’s need to make muggle and magical work together and why, but she didn’t want to sour the mood. “Now motors, combustibation engines. They do not make sense.”

“I think it’s pronounced more like cobustion.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “I have no clue, and honestly, I don’t think Slatterly cares.”

“Slatterly is completely out of touch with reality,” Bruce agreed, laughing.

-

The actual potions tutoring went by very smoothly. Natasha _had_ actually been struggling with it, but after a few more tries, she managed perfectly. They were packing up Bruce’s potion kit when he paused.

He seemed to want to ask her something, but hesitated. She roller her eyes. “Just ask, Big Guy. Everyone always has some rumor they want confirmed or denied.”

Bruce blushed. “Well. It’s just. There’s this one, in particular. But I’m sure it’s not true. Not that if it is true I would be surprised, because you’re a very talented witch and everything. But. I just don’t see why you’d have the need?”

Natasha blinked at him, then let a small smile take her mouth. “Alright. I promise I won’t be offended, just ask.”

“Are you really an animagus?”

To be honest, Natasha was taken aback. Most rumors about her magical ability centered around impressive hexes and jinxes she had used on unsuspecting assholes and misogynists. She had no clue how this had gotten out.

“Yes.”

Bruce blinked rapidly, before starting back to cleaning up. “Oh.” “

Oh? This had obviously been nagging at you and not to toot my own horn, but I’m a sixteen year old animagus. That’s kind of impressive. And your response is ‘oh?’”

“I mean. I’m kind of curious as to why?”

Natasha grimaced. “I–I didn’t exactly have a normal or…healthy childhood. The place I was at before Hogwarts was…punishingly thorough in their magical education.”

Bruce seemed horrified. But unpitying. That was new. “You were an animagus before you were eleven years old?”

“I perfected my form when I was seven.”

“That’s–” Bruce seemed shocked. And slightly awed. “That’s unheard of. That level of auto-morphology should be impossible before NEWT Level.”

Natasha smiled at his unspoken compliment. “Brings a new level to my being a ‘very talented witch,’ huh?”

He nodded rapidly, before pausing again. Natasha answered the unasked question. “I’m a silver fox.”

Bruce blushed, but for once Natasha wasn’t sure why.

-

About a week after their ‘Study Date’ (as _everyone_ had taken to calling it, Clint said the capitalization was implied), Natasha and Bruce had spent most meals together.

The more time Natasha spent with Bruce, the more she felt this damn _crush_ growing like a swarm of _butterflies_ in her stomach. Natasha hated butterflies. She didn’t understand how they flew, why they were to garishly colored, why the little freaks had made it through millennia of evolution.

She had hoped spending time with him would make her get over this–this infestation in her heart, but the more he blushed and ducked his head or scratched his neck nervously or stuttered his way through a sentence or confidently explained a project he was working on, the more fevered she felt.

By the time a month had passed, Natasha had gotten used to spending all her meals with Bruce, with a significant amount of time spent outside of the Great Hall, as well. So when he didn’t show up in the Great Hall for breakfast and Natasha hadn’t seen him after Potions, she asked Tony where he was, and when he just said, “He’s feeling poorly,” Natasha was a bit…put out. Natasha did not like this feeling. She didn’t like pining away after Bruce and having no clue whether he liked her back or not.

Natasha needed advice.

-

For once, Pepper was Tony-less. These were rare moments that Natasha tended to exploit as much as she could, usually to get dirt on Tony.

She’d never thought she’d need ‘dirt’ on Bruce.

“Hey, Pep.” Natasha set her things down on the table Pepper was sitting at, sitting herself down across from the other red head.

As much as she loved Peggy and Angie, there was something about Pepper that had clicked upon first meeting. It was probably her complete disregard for treating anyone like a special snowflake. It was also this disregard that made Pepper give her a look that clearly asked, ‘What this time?’

“I swear I’m not digging on Tony. I’m not digging on anyone. It’s more…advise that I’m after.”

Pepper raised an eyebrow and went back to her paper.

Natasha sighed. The only currency Pepper was interested in was gossip, and she knew that. “Clint told me that Coulson told him that Melinda is thinking of breaking up with Andrew.”

Pepper gave her a congenial smile. “You have my attention.”

“I need to know why Bruce and Betty broke up.”

A shuttered expression overtook Pepper’s face. “That’s not advice, Nat.”

“I know,” Natasha said, crossing her legs beneath the table. “It…leads into the advice part.”

Pepper seemed skeptical. “All I can tell you is that is wasn’t a break up and more of a _break up_ , if you get what I mean.”

“Bruce broke up with Betty?” Natasha asked, completely shocked.

Pepper shook her head. “Nope.”

“Betty broke up with Bruce?” If possible, Natasha was even more confused. “But. Betty’s so…”

“Right? I mean, I know she was completely justified. But. I really can’t tell you, Nat.” Pepper seemed genuinely sad about it, almost like it physically pained her to keep it from Natasha.

“Clint still sleeps with a plush dog called ‘Lucky, the Pizza Dog’ every night.”

Pepper snorted, but the somber expression didn’t leave her face. “It’s not about fair trade, Nat. It’s a promise.”

Another sigh escaped Natasha. “I understand.”

“Anything else I can help you with on the Bruce front?” Pepper asked, smile too proud for Natasha to reply with anything but:

“No.”

-

Despite the fact that Natasha had gone into her conversation with Pepper with the intent to get advice on how to flirt with Bruce, she just couldn’t face the idea of Pepper’s smug face. It also felt pretty important to know why Betty broke up with Bruce before she decided to pursue anything.

Natasha had never really been friends with Betty, but she knew the older girl had a good head on her shoulders, and would never let another girl get herself in a dangerous situation. So in that way, she knew that if Betty broke up with Bruce for a reason that would make Natasha not want to date him, Betty would tell her.

That being said, Natasha hadn’t seen Betty hang out with Bruce since the break up, so whatever it was must have also ended their friendship, which had been strong before they had gotten together, according to Pepper. But there was also the possibility that Betty was just giving Bruce time to get some space or closure or something like that. Or that Betty needed those things, which didn’t bode well.

But Natasha Romanoff was a Gryffindor for a reason, dammit, and she wasn’t going to let conflicted emotions hinder her from completing her self appointed task.

It was time to find Betty Ross.

-

Natasha didn’t have to go far, because Betty was in the library, seated on the floor between two sets of shelves in the back. She had a large dusty tomb in her lap, and was mumbling something under her breath as she wrote in a Muggle notebook.

“Hey, Betty.”

The girl jumped, making a blot of ink spread down her page from where she’d stabbed her quill into the paper. “Oh, Natasha. You scared me!”

Natasha gave her a big smile, which any of her friends would have been weary of, but Betty just smiled back. “I…wanted to talk to you.”

Betty’s grin dropped. “About Bruce?”

Well, she was already made, and there was no use in lying to Betty. “Yeah.”

Betty nodded and grimaced. “I figured you might. I’ve seen you two have been getting…close, since he and I broke up.”

Natasha took a deep breath. “I don’t mean to be…insensitive, Betty. I know you and Bruce really cared – care – about each other. But, well. I’ve heard some things, well. More like distinctly haven’t heard some things, about the condition of your break up.”

Betty looked surprised. “You just want to know why we broke up? I’m sorry if I’m not going to tell the Hogwarts Queen of Gossip the intimate details of my interpersonal relationships.” She paused for a moment, and then continued, indignation in her voice, “And if I find out you’ve been messing with Bruce’s heart, pretending to be his friend or whatever just to get some ‘juicy’ gossip, I will personally hex your face off.”

Natasha sighed and rolled her eyes, “It’s not like that, Betty. I’m asking because I need to know.”

“ _You’re_ interested in _Bruce_? I thought you were dating Bucky Barnes?”

“No!” Natasha groaned. Why anyone thought that boy was interested in anyone but Steve Rogers genuinely made Natasha worry for future generations born from these idiots. “But just like you won’t spread gossip about Bruce, I’m not going to spread gossip about James.”

Betty hummed and fiddled with her quill. “Okay, well. I can’t tell you _everything_ , but I’ll tell you what I can.”

Natasha nodded and went to ask a question, but Betty cut her off. “Not here. I’ll meet up with you after dinner.”

Natasha bit her lip, but nodded, and went on her way.

-

Dinner that night was a quiet affair. It seemed like the entire school had noticed all at once that the semester was ending soon and that they had papers to write and tests to study for and spell and potions to practice. Bucky and Steve’s noses were buried in a book in front of them, Steve’s thin fingers pointing at things Bucky would hum at. Angie was repeating the same wand motion over and over, mumbling under her breath about the rigidness of her damned wand. Peggy seemed to be the only person besides Natasha that wasn’t letting end of term anxiety get the better of her.

“Where’s Clint this evening, Nat?” Peggy asked, delicately cutting her brisket.

Natasha shrugged. “Probably holed up with every book he’s ever bought for school in the Kitchens. NEWTs are getting the better of him.”

Peggy nodded. “If I hadn’t created my study schedule for OWLs, I’d probably be worse than these idiots,” she agreed, with a smile and a nod to their friends.

“Same. Except I’m also a very good test taker, I’m not that worried.”

Peggy noticed something over Nat’s shoulder. “I’ve heard tell you were seen talking to Betty Ross in the library today. I didn’t know you were friends?”

Natasha shrugged again. “I don’t think we are, really. I don’t know her that well. We just have…a mutual interest, let’s say.”

“Bruce Banner?” Peggy said, smile burgeoning on her face.

“Something like that.” Natasha rolled her eyes and took a bite of her own brisket.

-

Peggy and Natasha kept up conversation through the rest of dinner, mostly about classes, things they were worried about covering during their OWLs, the ridiculously long paper Hill had assigned on Inanimatus Conjurus Spells, and the next Quidditch game, which Peggy had somehow gotten conned into placing a bet on.

“It’s not that I don’t care for Quidditch, I’m not like you, but I certainly don’t care enough to place a bet on it. But Sam was being so _unbelievably_ cocky, that I couldn’t let it go. And I know Pepper has a good team with the Ravenclaws, but I am actually quite sure that Hufflepuff _will_ win, so I’m going to loose this bet, and Sam will be even _worse_ -”

“Hi guys!” Natasha turned to see Betty standing behind her, bag slung over her back.

Peggy gave a quick ‘hello’ but Natasha merely stood. “Ready for our study session?”

Betty blinked for a moment before she caught on. “Oh! Yes, very ready. I was thinking the Astronomy tower? Selvig doesn’t have a class until seven, so that should give us enough time.” She must have seen something on Peggy’s face, because she quickly added, “And we’ll need the space for me to practice.”

Peggy raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying what they were trying to sell. “Oh, you’re teaching Betty a spell, Natasha?”

Betty nodded, “Oh, yes! See, when I heard the rumor that Natasha knew how to cast a Patronus, I begged her to teach me.”

“Ah, yes. The infamous rumor mill strikes again. You’re lucky, Nat doesn’t usually follow up on things like that.” Peggy was smirking now, and Natasha knew why when she went for the kill, “But I must insist, Nat, you’re going to have to teach me as well! I’d love to be able cast a Patronus.”

Natasha screamed internally, but nodded congenially to Peggy. “Of course, Pegs. It’s very important defensive magic.” She then grabbed Betty’s arm and tugged her out of the Great Hall, shooting a farewell over her shoulder.

-

“What were you thinking! I can’t cast a Patronus! And now Peggy is expecting me to teach her!” Natasha was fuming, but she kept herself in check as she watched Betty pace the roof of the Astronomy Tower with long strides.

“I don’t know! I panicked! It was the first thing I could think of that I couldn’t do, but I had heard you could!” Betty said, wringing her hands.

Natasha rolled her eyes and shook her head. “That’s worse! Because I can’t cast a Patronus and _you_ don’t know how, so what’s going to happen when Peggy asks you at some point – which she _will_ – to cast a Patronus in front of her?! The best way to lie is to stay as close to the truth as possible, not make shit up on the fly!”

“Well I’m sorry I’m not a master at deception, Natasha, I tend not to lie to people!”

Natasha tried to kept the flinch internal, but she must have failed because Betty instantly looked apologetic. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it-”

“It’s fine. Just. Let’s talk about Bruce, okay.”

Betty nodded. She seemed to finally feel the cold and wrapped herself tighter in her cloak. So far they had had a mild winter, but it had started to snow at some point. “So like I said earlier, I don’t want the entire school knowing, okay? Because despite all his faults, Bruce is a good guy, okay?”

“Of course, Betty.” Natasha made sure to meet the older girl’s eyes. “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt Bruce.”

Betty’s smile turned bitter for a moment. “He needs more people like that in his life. He’s honestly a mess of a boy.”

“I noticed.”

The Ravenclaw snorted. “It doesn’t take long, huh?”

Natasha bit her lip. “You obviously still care about him, Betty. Why did you break up with him?”

Betty turned and looked up at the sky. Despite the fact that it was snowing, the moon was full and bright in the sky, illuminating the snowflakes as they fell. It was honestly a beautiful sight. “Because I couldn’t trust him anymore. He-he had been lying to me about something since I met him and when I figured it out, he just kept lying until he couldn’t anymore.”

Betty snorted, bitter, and her grimace turned watery. “And the thing is? The secret he was lying about? I didn’t care. It was the lying itself.”

Natasha turned that over in her mind. Something that was secret, that Bruce thought Betty would hate him for. For some reason, Natasha thought about what Tony had said, at the beginning of all this, _‘He gets this way, feels poorly, you know?’_ and _‘…but Bruce is…moody right now, not the best company. Just leave him be a couple days, okay? This happens a lot.’_ Natasha hadn’t thought much of it, but as she did now, ‘moody’ wasn’t wrong, but it didn’t feel like Tony was telling the truth.

So. Moody, but not moody. Lying about it because it’s seen as a bad thing. Takes a of couple days and then he’s okay, and it happens a…lot…

The first time she talked to Tony about Bruce was the full moon. She knew because Clint was talking about having to prune some plant for Cardenas by light of the moon. And Natasha hadn’t seen Bruce at all today, a _lunar_ month after the fact.

Natasha looked up to the sky, the direction Betty had been looking a moment before.

The full moon, hanging peacefully in the night sky.

Bruce was a werewolf.

-

It took exactly two days for Bruce to show up in the Great Hall for breakfast. As soon as Natasha saw him, she nodded to Clint and Sam before jogging down to where Bruce was sitting with Pepper and Rhodey by the door.

She slid into the seat next to him and nodded to Rhodey, who was seated across from her.

“Hey, Nat. You already eat?” Bruce asked, stabbing a sausage link with his fork.

“Yeah. I was just wondering if you wanted to-” she darted forward and laid a kiss on the corner of his mouth. He froze, fork still carrying sausage in his hand, about six inches from his face.

He seemed to regain his facilities. “Yeah, I would like that a lot.” A beaming smile took over his entire face.

“Good.” She leaned forward to whisper in his ear. “By the way, I figured out you’re a werewolf. Don’t you ever fucking lie to me again.”

It took longer for Bruce to regain his facilities this time.

**Author's Note:**

> Check out [my tumblr](http://humanedisaster.tumblr.com) if you want more MCU trash on your dash.
> 
> And remember, if you have a prompt, check out [this](http://mcuhogwartsau.tumblr.com/post/118088870703/welcome) and send me one [here](http://mcuhogwartsau.tumblr.com/ask).


End file.
